能有谁,解开缠绕我千年的寂寞*

2008-09-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

一向独来独往，
习惯黑暗的我，
也开始害怕起寂寞了？

do you feel what i the way i feel towards you?
did you feel my heartbeat?
did you feel how much i want you to be mine?
i <3>

2008-08-11T16:59:00.002+08:00

all i need is fresh air and a place to rest my head and you.
i'm really tired, really.

you ask for my wish,
you know what it is.
i do hope the wish will be fulfilled,
or maybe it will never be.

跌的越深，
就伤的越痛。
我好像真的太宠，太疼你了。
我的世界不要再环绕着你而旋转。
我会回到从前的我，
开始封闭回我的内心世界。

2008-08-08T00:10:00.002+08:00

放弃一个很爱你的人，
并不痛苦。
放弃一个你很爱的人，
那才痛苦。
爱上一个不爱你的人，
那是更痛苦。
别提等到错过后才去后悔，
别等到失去后才想挽回。

i need a break,
i need a kit kat. haha.
i'm flaring up just so often lately.
i need a long break.
i don't say anything don't mean i've no opinion,
just don't test my patience.

2008-08-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

fcuk up fcuk up fcuk up!
feel so fcuk up with myself.
i just cannot concentrate myself on the court.

少了你的加油，
我好像少了翅膀，
变得无能为力。

2008-07-17T10:17:00.002+08:00

record breaken!
you've actually broken so many of my unspoken rule.
what to do.
i feel so silly myself sometimes. haha.
7months!
jia you, jia you and jia you!

爱他“最初的自己”
两个人相处总有摩擦，
只盯住伴侣的缺点，
你永远也不会接纳对方。

srry yu jia and gang,
been missing out for the outing.
promised to meet up soon. (:

2008-07-10T11:24:00.002+08:00

男人一个月次的低潮期，
也快过了。
陈勇伸，你要好好加油！
我好讨厌喝醋的感觉。
真的好讨厌！

sorry girl,
for the attitude,
and emo-ing this few days.
sincere apologies.

2008-07-10T11:07:00.002+08:00

陷得越深，
就越难自拔。
我好像真的陷得无法自拔了。

i hate this feeling.
fairy god mother please quide and help me!

2008-07-10T10:55:00.003+08:00

i read abt this somewhere:
人生就像强奸，
反抗不了，
就要好好享受。

工作就像轮奸，
你不行了，
就换别人上。

月薪就像月经，
一个月不来就完蛋了！

though it's funny,
but i feel that it's quite true. haha.

2008-04-24T16:56:00.002+08:00

as requested,
i shall post abt the fun trips with my not-so newly made friends.

went je k-box with sikoon, ah ber, ping ping, dong ling, roy and one more.
(i forget his name. oops! xp)
started at 7pm and suppose to end at 3 am,
but we went off at around 1am cause everyone is too tired.
we got like only 5 person singing only
6hrs/5persons=1hr plus per person.
thanks ping ping for sending us home. (:

steamboat session at bukit timah with sikoon, valen, ah ber, ping ping, wei te and dong ling
to send off dongling cause he's flying to taiwan for 1month plus.
the food is nice so is the price. haha.
my wife's place for singing cum drinking cum pool and pool.
all was very high esp ping ping. lol.
thanks wei te for sending us home. (:

majong session at my hse with valen, ping ping, ah ber and wei te.
we were in a funny and lock-up situation.
valen was playing for me,
i was playing for ping ping,
and i keep winning happily.
it's a bit complicated i know.
i'm confused too. haha.
and thanks valen for the ride home.
got to work work work,
think i'm oweing valen a bit too much.

and yup i went for a movie marathon myself. (:

2008-04-05T12:47:00.002+08:00

唉！心情烂透了。
原来男人也有他们每个月一次的低潮期！
对了，i'm back to singapore.
还以为这次出国心情会好一些，
反而好像更差了。
都是你的错！
你真得让我好羡慕喔！
其实，我还蛮嫉妒的。
你的直率，开朗、
你的妈妈，婆婆也都好可爱！
这些温暖对我都是一些奢望。

家...
我越像珍惜，它就越遥远。

为什么我非得把心事说出来，你才了解？
难道就没有一个我什么都不必说，也能了解我的人吗？

孤单、寂寞?
习惯之后
一个人也会很自在。

2008-02-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

1 more exam on tues and i'm free!
working almost everyday after the exam.
got to work and save up for my trip.
i got to restrain my spendings from now on.
jia you! self-control!

i destest.
i hate you for what you did.
you seems so stranger to me that day.
yup you you you!
(me)

2008-02-15T16:25:00.003+08:00

one paper down,
another one to go
and that's the end of this sem le. (:

happy valentine's day!
went far east floral to get fresh roses in the morning with valen and kenneth.
me and valen bought about 50+ roses in total ba.
plus all the accessories and stuff, cost abt 160+.
jerome and valentino came my hse to pack the flower.
i supposed to study with jerome for the paper the next day,
in the end spent most of the time playing and slping instead.
haha.
gd luck to my paper! jia you! (:

2008-02-11T02:40:00.000+08:00

不是恨早，便是恨晚

逢，不是恨晚，便是恨早。
太早遇上你了，我还不懂得爱你。
太早遇上你了，我还不懂得珍惜你。
太早遇上你了，我们的世界还有一大段距离，需要用时间来拉近。
太早遇上你了，我还有很多梦想要实现，你不会理解，也不可能接受。
后来，我才觉得遗憾，我出现得太早了，如果能够晚一点，我们的生命都会不同。

为什么我不晚一点遇上你？
太晚遇上你了，你身边已经另外有一个人。你说：“为什么我没有早一点遇到你？”

我不懂得怎样回答你。
太晚遇上你了，我身边已经另外有一个人。

我说：“如果没有他，我会爱上你，但你为什么不早一点出现？如果六年前就遇上你，一切都会不同。“

你难过地说：“六年前，我身边有另一人。“

原来，我们从没有在适当的时候相逢。

太晚遇上你了，我现在才知道什么是爱情。我遗憾没有把第一次留给你。
太晚遇上你了，我已经不再像从前那样，会义无反顾地爱一个人。

如果我们恰恰相逢在适当时候，那是多么没可能的事。

2008-02-08T04:27:00.000+08:00

2008-02-08T04:01:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YONG SHEN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!
today is my birthday,
and yet everyone is so not free.
cause my birthday falls on the 2nd day of CNY. KUKU!
last year it's on the eve.
anyone wants to watch movie in the evening tmr?
cj7, kung fu dunk or ah long pte ltd will be fine. (:
maybe i shall spend my birthday at home if i've got no date. ):
but i'll be singing in the night all the way till morning tmr! yay!
i don't like my birthday,
but i think at least this year's birthday did improve a bit. (:
thanks xueli for your wonderful birthday song! love ya. (:

~~as usual, your dint wish me happy birthday,~~
~~or maybe your had just clean forgotten abt it.~~

2008-02-05T01:28:00.000+08:00

been so busy recently to blog.
got to finish my semestral project, common test, plus my chalet stuffs.
oh ya, my chalet was great.
though a lot of peeps that i expected dint turn up. :(
and a million thanks to all my friends who make the chalet possible.
plus all the wonderful presents, and fun.

thanks meihui, kenneth and serene for the jean.
thanks felicia, mok, yujia, bao, stella and karpet for the watch.
thanks jessica, melvin, shijie, nelson, ben, jason, jerome and jiayuan
for the cards, flower and bear! haha. but i love it though.
thanks jonathan, eileen, huiqin, xiatfei, deqi and xinruei for the jacket.
thanks jingwei for the top.
thanks my shi gu for the 2 shirts.
thanks kimman and kimfang for the shirt.
thanks wa for the sweet gift. i reeally love it.
thanks sikoon, zhiliang and hansheng for the hongbao and hmm... haha.
thanks to my family forr the hongbaos.
and of course thanks to valentino for all the help.
you're very much appreciated.
and to those who wished me happy birthday. cheers!

took tons of pictures, so maybe i'll upload it when i'm less lazy?
or maybe when i get it. haha.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
think i'll be quite busy these few days too,
so most probably won't be updating soon le ba. haha. (:

it must be hard on you. anything, just call and i'll be around. (:

i'm so so confused now, maybe i need a bit more time.

2008-01-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

came out with the namelist for my chalet
and guess what?
it amounts to around 100 pple. omg!
should not have opened a chalet.

had communication skill presentation today.
interviewing skills.
mrs lee gave me discount and i need to wear only half formal. (;

met up with mei hui for movie: cloverfield.
really lousy show.
seriously don't recomend to watch.
lousy ending, lousy storyline
plus vedio capturing angle keeps changing,
so it gives you headache.
$6 to torture myself.
of course, serene can share the present. hee

i envy your relationship with your mum.
i do.
how i wish...

2008-01-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

aeroplane serene for the bowling alley function. srry.
i really sprained my leg.

went for a buffet dinner at swiss hotel.
woo. it's free cause my cousin got vouchers. yeah!
not much variety of food though.
it was a chinese crusine.
food was slightly above average.
but i eat till i was too bloated too move.
i've got the buffet spirit. haha. (;

2008-01-20T13:15:00.000+08:00

went for the class bbq or shld i say the course bbq. haha.
diff pple from diff class came.
had a fun time cam-whoring with the guys of course.
we're gays. lol.
ton at jessica hse with a couple of friends.
i woke up late for my class.
wasted 20 bucks on cab.
shall post up the pics when i free. haha. (:
and ~~shi jie is the clown of the day.~~lol.
(someone forbids me to put)

2008-01-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

busy busy, busy.
exams coming real soon,
projects to hand in,
preparation and planning for my birthday chalet,
and of course work.
i'm totally broke.

ya, i will be having a chalet on the 1st and 2nd of feb.
whose who not staying can come on the 2nd.
cause i'll be having my cake cutting and bbq.
please inform me in advance by the 23rd if you're coming. (:

working tmr till 3am at chijmes.
sentosa on wed with angeline and felicia, and work at chijmes.
bball on thurs. hope it don't rain.
fri work from 7am at chijmes. yeah, i think i'll be late.
meet up with jessica and class bbq.
work at rtc on sun.

sorry, was supposed to meet you for lunch on sun but i was working instead.
sorry for postponing the nus trip on the coming fri.
i'm so sorry.

2008-01-09T13:14:00.000+08:00

went back rtc to work ystd.
i've like mia for around 3 weeks.
and everyone keep asking why.
ok, i got some personal stuff to settle.
or should i say some family problems.
anw i'm not able to work as much as before,
but i missed you guys too. haha.

lunch with my huiqin, deqi, eileen and xiat fei today.
i missed them so much. (:
ogl for nyp open hse tmr,
meet up with marc for info on event coordinator job details.
badminton with mei hui on fri,
then gym with jia juan and friends,
and ktv with my bball friends.
work at rtc on sat.
meeting with susan on sat for a chat/lunch.
thinking of whether i want to go to the service with her.
she said that we've not meet for so long. hmm. quite true. haha.
this week is fully booked. haha. (:

告诉我,我是你这世上最讨厌的人.

2008-01-08T11:32:00.000+08:00

The Fundamentals of Love
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her. You found yourself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter. It seemed as if a mysterious "chemistry effect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her.

You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things that you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very good friend.

It is often during this period that a boy and a girl will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level. After all, the kind of wonderful experience you have between each other can only become even better if it developes into a romantic relationship. In other words, the feeling is really unique - no one else seems able to replace her in your heart.

So both of you agree to go steady and work even harder on the relationship. You "graduate" to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.

When You Forgot the Fundamentals
However, at some point in your relationship, you forgot how it all began. You start to take your partner for granted. Why can't she laugh in a more lady-like manner? Why doesn't she dress herself more trendily? Why must she assert her views and points out your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you?

To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your "love memory". The "love memory" contains all the reasons that you fell in love with her right from Day One. It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting and loving her.

Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusual fashion sense that makes her stand out from the crowd? Right-O. So why are you criticizing or finding faults with her now that she is your girlfriend?

Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love. Like so many of us, you have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase. Instead, once you went steady, you put your "love memory" in cold storage. As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations about her. These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.

The Secret of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development. You can't possibly become part of a couple if you aren't friends in the first place. Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance? Couplehood works well when there is something you like about her (and vice versa), and I'm not referring to merely the physical aspects. So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don't give up without checking on your "love memory". Rediscover the reasons why you fell in love with her, and watch your relationship flourish with a new found vigor.

L-isten, O-verlook, V-oice, E-ffort
Love is to listen to the needs of the other party, giving them without asking for returns. Overlook the faults and find the plus points of the other party. Voice out and say sweet things and express your happiness and words of encouragement for the other party. Putting in effort, keep putting in more time to find the meaning of love.

how true!!
the fundamentals...
sometimes things are just not to be rushed. (:

2008-01-05T11:20:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to felicia!
sing at top one with the old gang.
know 2 new friends though.
and they sing real well man.
but i think i forget their name le.
hehe. paiseh. (;
another new year resolution:
4) got to improve on my singing.
haha.

i missed the days at lsssom.
i think i'll be gg back there soon
or maybe i'll go to ocean butterflies. (:

2008-01-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
went out with my bball gang.
wanted to sing at chevron but it's fully booked.
so we went to play billard at jp
and slacked at boon lay for the countdown.
simple countdown
join cartel friends for supper and chat all the way till morning.

my new year resolutions:
1) improve my lifestyle
2) earn more money
3) have a stable life
i think i have more but. hmm.

sometimes i just wonder...
was i getting the wrong impression
or everything was just true?

2007-12-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
wanted to avoid the crowd
or maybe i just don't have to mood to go out
so i spent a simple christmas at home this year.

qiu yu sis' wedding!
wake up at 5 plus to help out in the preparation and stuff.
i'm the one who open the car door/usher/helper.
it's tiring but worth it. (:
and ya the wedding car is a mercs slk convertable.
ooh. cool car. yup. that's my dream car. haha.
the dinner is held at swisshotel.
nice food, nice enviroment and nice service.
had a 1 night stay at the hotel too.
my 1st time staying at such a posh hotel in singapore. (:

i attended a couple of wedding
and served lots of wedding.
i used to love weddings.
but i'm hate it now.

thanks huiqin for your christmas card.

you're so sweet!
and glad that you still remember me. (:

2007-12-23T14:45:00.000+08:00

i closed my blog.
yes, cause i'm selfish.
i don't feel like sharing anything abt me with anyone.
i'm emo!

happy birthday to hui ting.
congrats to ken for your sucessful proposal,
so karpet you're geting married soon.
you got to behave like a married woman.
and to sis quiyun, congrats.
you're getting married on christmas.
i'm so envious.
don't worry i won't be late.
i want a extra large hongbao! haha.

have an pre-christmas celebration with felicia and gang.
enjoyed the meal, ken's proposal and the singing session.
we shall have more outings soon!

i quit cartel, or should i say, they fired me.
cause i put aeroplane.
though i feel very very guilty.
anw, at least that's better.
i don't want explain anything to anybody.
maybe i'll not be working rtc anymore too.
i need time.

2007-12-04T15:37:00.000+08:00

4 hours break today.
watched the kingdom alone.
$5 and i had the whole cinema to myself. cool.
it's been quite long since i've done things alone,
so i shall not meet anybody this week.
this week is reserved for me!

people said my blog are too emo,
so i shall post my unhappy stuff somewhere else. haha (:

2007-12-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to leon and brian!
common test this week and test next week.
but i think i've only 3 icas and it's all open book.
and only 1 common test.
plus my miss lee and mr tan is giving me so much help!
they specially ask graduates to give me tutorial
and gave me extended deadlines for the projects.
i need to buck up!

2007-11-29T12:51:00.000+08:00

went jb ystd with si koon and roy.
watched HITMAN at cathay citysquare.
6 ringgit for every show on wed.
that amounts to like $5 plus the popcorns and drinks.
it's cheap luh.
ate secret recipe, curry fishhead and kfc.
wanted to shop for clothes.
but their style are so not my taste.
bought a lot of dvds and dramas instead.
i'm getting my dvds today~

i act forgotten there's my sch concert today.
and my teacher reserved seats for me foc.
i'm working today.
omg, how could i be so forgetful?!

2007-11-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to bryan, cheng yong and jasmine!

chalet at east coast, island resort.
the island resort was not really that gd,
and it's ex.
but it's been so long since i go around blading for the whole night.
met my old friends and learnt a new game! sm snap! haha.
the game is duper violent and hilarious.
had fun. (:

srry friends, for showing the emo face these few days. (:
thanks for the chat! i'm surprised that i'm able to tell you that much,
or maybe that's the wonder of the q&a session. haha. (:

2007-11-19T10:19:00.000+08:00

srry brian for breaking your phone.
though you say it's ok,
i still feel guilty as ever.
we split the cost for your repair cost k?
srry!

2 chalets on 2 consecutive weekends.
i'm gg genting/kl for shopping during dec. (:

happy birthday to darling dawn and kimfang!

i don't like the feeling, seriously
you broke many of my unspoken principles.
and yet...
i know things are easier said than done.
but i nd to cool down.
i somehow know what i nd to do now. (:

2007-11-12T10:44:00.000+08:00

i've decided to go taiwan instead of opening a chalet!
how cool.
1st trip to taiwan for my birthday. (:

i've spent $200 in just a weekend.
bought a puma bag, newurbanmale tshirt.
i added studs and name to my havaianas too,
but it don't look that nice luh. ):
omg. it's so sinful.
got to find some way to stop my shopping cravings.
played 食字路口 at geylang with xueli, bryant and valen. haha
ate tim sum, beef horfun, 豆浆油条 and durian.
but we left out the 田鸡粥.
k-boxed the next day plus seowwei.
and we went all the way to changi airport for dinner.
fruitful weekend. :D

i'm afraid of...
and i'm so so tired.
everyone said i've changed.
so was it for the better or bad?

2007-10-26T14:15:00.000+08:00

no sch on fri!
whao.
and i'm giving myself an off day today
to rest at home.
think i've been working too hard.
or gg out everyday.
even my manager claims not to give me work
so as to let me rest. haha.
oh well.
serene and de qi.
i still owe your your birthday treat.
let's meet out! (:

2007-10-24T09:25:00.000+08:00

omg.
brought 4 shirts, 1 cardigan and 1 shoe this month.
and i still got so many things to buy! haha
i must be mad.

i've got a new banquet job at mandarin hotel.
so i got 3 jobs now + sch ?! haha.

2007-10-23T09:11:00.000+08:00

been having a wild week though school reopen.
work, work, work and play. haha
don't worry, i won't neglect my studies.
and i love my life now.

though you won't be reading this, but thanks for lending me your apron and nametag. really really apreciate it lots. (:

2007-10-22T09:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to andy, ah tung, kian hui & yi ting!

so sorry for all the cock ups during for meeting. sorry!

2007-10-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

i finally blogged. haha
more work, more play plus no internet connection at my hse,
so equals to no blog. haha.
or maybe i'm plain lazy.
sch is starting soon.
and i dint even save up any money till now.
there goes my holiday plan.

i'm so so tired.
i need a rest.

2007-09-24T14:04:00.000+08:00

though most probably you won't be reading this,
but anw,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dad.
i love you.

sorry.

2007-09-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

oh. i've not slept for 2 consecutive days.
work at tcc,
banquet at rtc,
work at tcc,
bball at tampines,
and majong at hougang,
then work at tcc again.
haha.
though it's tiring,
but i just love it.
and i'm having a 3rd job soon.

my hibernating period is over,
yong shen has finally wake up.
or should i say,
i'm no longer the yongshen i used to be.
haha. (:

2007-09-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

my first day of work ystd.
it's a bit tiring but it's fun.
i've got to familiarize with each station within 3 day,
and able to manage each station alone within 1 week.
omg. there's so much thing to memorise.
diff dish, diff ingredients and diff placing plus the cooking.
spaggedies working enviroment is much better.
but tcc's not bad too.
at least the people are friendly and fun!
yup.
i was pouring drinks for myself.
then a waiter called "erm, hello."
i dint reply.
then he called "hello, handsome."
and i turn to reply.
oops. seriously i dint know the first hello was for me man.
and we all laughed. haha.
then i put 3 slice of lemon for my coke.
the manager saw and said
"the lemon are reserved for the customers,
even custormers only have 1 slice per cup."
oops. but the manager was kind.
he said nvm, treat it as benefit for 1st day work.
i'm looking forward to my second day of work. (:

friends, thanks for your concern and help when i was down.
al and sk, thanks for your trip to the chalet and i was not a gd host.
thanks again for all the tips and advice. i promised your a treat.
kh, i jnow you are troubled too. i'll always be around when you need me. it's a promise.
hd, i've dissapointed you. sorry. i promise there's no second time.
a promise is a promise. (hook last finger) (:

2007-09-09T23:48:00.001+08:00

spent $100 just for a normal consultation,
and i've got to fork out more for the specialist side.
i got an unpleasant feeling.
hope the result will come out alright.
i need work.
i'm starting work on wed. as a cook.
i want to cook all the nice food for you. (:

i'll overcome all my emotional barriers. (:

2007-09-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

i feel so like dying right now.

every part of my body is giving me problems.
my eye, finger, knee, ankles and my joints.

you're right.
i'm coward, shy or whatever.
i had difficulties even facing myself now.

2007-09-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

hd psed me.
and i got to replan everything.
four more hours to chiong my er-hu.
it's a bit last min i know.
but it's better than nth. haha.
i'm gg to eat supper with my teacher and explore the school tonight!

am i the one you are refering to?
or was it someone else.
i'm alot less confident when i met you.

2007-09-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

i'm having co camp tmr,
and there's the recording session thingy.
i've practice hard for days.
but still as nervous.
someone wish me luck. (:

heard that you had a bad fall.
oh my, i know i'm a bit late.
but still, take care.
hope you are recovering. (:

2007-09-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

someone said i've changed, alot.
i think so too.
i'm opening up.
i blogged my feelings.
i relied on my friends.
i cry and laugh when i wanted to.
i'm much more matured. (hmm?)
but
i'm more afraid now.
i'm afraid of losing.
and less confident.
and not as suave as before. haha.
well, changing is not a bad thing.
at least i'm a bit more happier now. (:

i miss you, and hope you are doing fine.
i'll be happy just to know that you are happy. :D

2007-09-03T00:58:00.000+08:00

i took such courage to forgive you.
i thought you might have changed a bit.
i'm taking more burdens to minimize yours.
i gave up so much.
i'm still 19,
i need my teenshood,
i need my freedom,
i need my fun,
i need my memories.
must you deprived me of everything?
must i always spell out everything so that you'll know i care?

i hate myself for being so softhearted.
i just can't bring myself to hate you.

2007-09-02T05:47:00.000+08:00

there's so much thing i've wanted to do,
and i can't.
i've just found parts of me,
yet you stole it again.
don't make me hate you again.

第一次看着你就为你心动
聪明的我怎能让你走
第二次看见你我竟然失控
是我的错请你原谅我
第三次看见你想要告诉你
我真的爱你是真的爱你
第四次看着你我有些要求
请你能够安安静静的聆听
一.让我保护你
二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离
说你愿意
那最后一个一定要说你愿意
want be your lover want be your man
我只希望给你多一点
我只要你开心多一点
can you be my lover don"t wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天
给你幸福到永远因为我
want be your lover want be your man
说你害怕因为受过伤
不需要害怕因为我不是他

i will fulfill my promises to you.
i miss you!

2007-08-31T10:49:00.000+08:00

i wanted a simple life.
find a dream job,
have a stable girlfriend,
get married
and have children.
but reality does not allow.

so this is what i wanted now;

be rich,
filthy rich.
have lots of girlfriends,
not married
and adopt lots of children.
i must be dreaming.

i'm looking for a job. anyone got any lobangs?
some kind soul please return my wallet, and i'll be grateful to him always.

2007-08-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

i read a book- 'rich dad poor dad'
and come across an interesting paragraph.

"if you look at the the life of the average-educated, hard-working person, there is a similar path. the child is born and goes to school. the proud parents are exicited because the child excels, gets fair to good grades, and is accepted into a colledge. the child graduates, maybe goes on to graduate school and does exactly as programmed: looks for a safe, secure job or career.the child finds that job, maybe as a doctor or a lawyer, or joins the army or works for the government. generally, the child begins to make money, credit card starts to arrive in mass, and the shopping begins, if it already hasn't.
having money to burn, the child goes to places where other young people like them hang out, and they meet people, and they date, and sometimes they get married. life is wonderful now, because today, both men and women work. two incomes are bliss. they feel successful, their future is bright, and they decide to buy a house, a car, a television, take vacations and have children. the happy bundle arrives. the demand for cash is enormous. the happy couple decides that their careers are vitally important and begin to work harder, seeking promotions and raises. the raises come, and so does another children, and the need for a bigger house. they work harder, become better employees, even more dedicated. they go back to school to get more specialised skills so that they can earn more money. maybe they take a second job. their incomes go up, but so does the tax bracket they're in and the real estate taxes on their new large home, and their Social Security taxes, and all the other taxes. they get their large paycheck and wonder all the money went. they buy some mutual funds and buy groceries with their credit card. the children reach 5 or 6 years of age, and the need to save for colledge increases as well as the need to save for their retirement."

and a meaniful poem.

"The Road Not Taken
two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and sorry i could not travel both
and be one traveler, long i stood
and looked down one as far as i could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

then took the other, as just as fair,
and because perhaps the better claim,
because it was grassy and wanted wear
through as for that the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

and both that morning equally lay
in leaves no step that trodden black.
oh, i kept the first for another day!
yet knowing how way leads onto way,
i doubted if i should ever come back.

i shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hance;
two roads diverged in a wood, and i-
i took the road less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference."

i'm taking a step back, to view everything in a different perspect.

2007-08-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

i've been too inmatured.
i've wasted too much time.
and i've was too indecisive.
i need a break
to catch my breath
and to grow up.

hd, valen, kh and yt.
i owe your a favour.
your're such great pals that i would nvr forget. (:

2007-08-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

watched fireworks again.
it's beautiful of course but it's not as nice as the ndp ones.
went for midnight movie afterwards.
and i watch rush hour 3 alone.
sometimes i feel that i'm 'zhi bi'. haha

i've been childish,
it's time for me move on and grow up.
i need to search for the broken me and mend them back.

2007-08-16T15:52:00.000+08:00

finally i have a day free for myself
but everyone's busy with their exams.
so i'm gg to do something alone today
like watching rush hour?
how pathetic.

i'm so deprived of sleep
and yet i could not sleep
with my mind full of you.

2007-08-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

i keep making mistakes so often nowadays
i think i'm more of a hindrance then help.
so sorry!

i'm trying to
so when's your turn?
will you face your true feelings?

searching for myself

2007-08-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

i'm lost,
emotionally exhausted.

will you be there when i need you most
will you be lend me your shoulders when i cry
will you show me your concern when i'm troubled
will you?

i know your secret

2007-08-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

wanted to watch alone
to scream out loud
but watched the secret instead.
the show's not bad
but the story line's a bit lousy.
i think it's worth 3 nachos.

i wanted to
i really wanted
but things just goes against my wish
just give me some hope
and i'll be alright
living takes more courage than death i suppose
i'm alright

i need you

but i guess that's just impossible

i need somewhere to take a breather

2007-08-10T10:44:00.000+08:00

i thought my test are over.
and the bad news come:
my friends told me there's still the mid year exam.
2 more papers to go.
buck up!

could you feel my heart thumping in your presence?

2007-08-10T00:46:00.000+08:00

pheweet! this year's fireworks was awesome man.
simply lovely.
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!

i've some emotional barriers that i need time to overcome.
you meant alot to me.
and i know it's me you are dissapointed in.
or maybe that i'm even considered a nuisance.
i lost my cool, my courage, my confidence in your presence.

2007-07-24T11:02:00.000+08:00

life's been so hectic that i've not blogged for so long.
and i even thought closing my blog.
anw, my blog's back again.
so feel free to tag! =)

Sometimes i duno whats going on
that i've let myself sink that deep
Seems like everything is in a mess
Words u said are making me confused
Maybe i'm thinking too much
Or maybe i'm not
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I was afraid we will run out of topics
And yet there's so much things
that i've wanted to tell you only
Somedays i feel so broke inside
But i wont admit
Sometimes i just wanna hide
To avoid being hurt
People says women are complicated
But i'm even more complicated
My heart soften in your presence
that anything can pierce through
even if its somthing light
How could you bear to let go
when i'm still hanging on

2007-05-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

i've just bought a PSP.
it's so cool. =)
i can surf the net, play games, watch vedios and listen to music.
but it cost me 350 bucks with 1 game and screen protector.
i am so so excited about it!
and i think i getting hooked.
gotta save for memory stick and a psp pouch.=)

2007-05-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

i think i'm losing my dream,
my hope,
my happy-go-lucky attitude,
my optimism,
and i'm slowly losing myself.
i'm so so tired!
but i've to stay strong.
i can't fall apart now.
no, at least not at this moment.
and i seriously don't know when i can hang on till.

2007-05-11T09:07:00.000+08:00

i am having sunburns from the sentosa outing.
my skin is still peeling off though i've applied suntan lotin and aloe vera gel.
got to suntan again to cover up all my ugly patches.
shall only able upload the sentosa photos when someone has send me the photos.
(jonathan, i'm still waiting!)

i'm finally able to put down everything and concentrate on my work.
yongshen, you know you can do it and you will do it! =)

2007-05-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

oh, tell your what my friend told me about the ending of spiderman
before i watched spiderman 3.
"spiderman become venom, so venom = spiderman.
in order to kill spiderman, venom stabs himself to death.
and spiderman dies too!"
LOL! maybe your can compare the ending again after your have watched the movie.
someone told me hdb hub cathay cinema has just opened.
and it was only scheduled to open in june.
i think i'm just too naive to get cheated by my friends all the time. haha. =)

2007-05-03T10:36:00.000+08:00

I'VE FINNALY MADE A DECISION!
so sorry.

2007-04-29T01:37:00.000+08:00

i played monopoly with my friends today USING REAL MONEY!
i think i've not played monopoly for like so long already,
but seriously it's a bad idea to play with cash.
cause you either win alot or lose alot. LOL!
and i've been having killing spree in bball lately. hoho. =D

had family meeting at my grandma's hse.
i've cried alone so many times,
today's the first that i've cried in front of others.
cause i'm sad and so touched by everyone's encouragement.
i love my family to bits! <3

i'm STRESSED!
i've to make up my mind and come to a decision soon.

2007-04-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

so many things had happened this few days.

i don't know how to express myself so i shall not elaborate.

EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO

"i canbe emo,

you can be emo,

but this is not the way it should be~

i can be emo,

you can be emo,

but this is not the way it should be~!

god loves you,

and i love you and that's the way it should be~

god loves you,

and i love you and that's the way it should be!"

-the emo song

this song is simply lovely, thanks! =D

went town today with jeremy and deqi.

have not seen them for so long.

thanks jeremy for the discount on the watch. 60%!

and of course thanks deqi for sharing half of the cost for the watch.

it's my belated belated birthday present!

she said this present shall includes all the previous year present too. lol!

we sang k-box.

we had so much fun.

both of them sang so so well,

that makes me so embarassed!

we sang our hearts out and i think i feeling better now already! =)

'KEEP LOOKING FORWARD, TMR WILL BE A BETTER DAY'

my new fossil watch! cool? i can change the strap too! and i've only paid $28 for it. what a deal! =D

2007-04-04T02:29:00.000+08:00

azri came during our cheerleading practice and gave us some gymnastic advice.
he will be coaching us!
i want my back hand spring, summer and lay-out!
work hard!

2007-04-02T02:12:00.000+08:00

what do i do when i feel emo?
yeah, ice cream!
i finished a whole tub of ben & jerry ice cream.
feeling so so much better.
and i shall go slp now.
KEEP LOOKING FORWARD!
TMR WILL BE A BETTER DAY! =)

2007-03-28T01:14:00.000+08:00

went k-bok today with 4 of my cheermates.
we sang from 2 to 9!
and we did intend to stay till it closes.
the fun part of singing is that we all love singing
but we just sing erm not that well. haha.
and i was like so so high today!
had to wait for them finish playing arade and weiming to end work.
then we could have our dinner together.

my phone ran out of batt today and i don't mean to ps you on your dota! so sorry!

2007-03-27T01:06:00.000+08:00

so so so much fun this weekend!
jss sports day, basketball, macritchie, thomson's prata and kai yang's house!
and of course all the unglam pics. haha.
erm. everyone is like feeling so emo!
cheer up man,
tmr shall be a better day!

so sorry to those i have ps-ed on sat esp wei zhi! and my cheermates for missing out the cheerobics and lwssom friends for the k-box session. sorry!

cheerleading pratice is still as fun as ever.
we will be having our club crawl on the 19th.
and i am like overseas from 10 to 18.
2 more weeks to practice and perfect everything.
omg! ys you have to work real hard.

2007-03-23T02:38:00.000+08:00

it's been so long since i have blogged.
i have so much to say but i do not know where to start from.

my beloved cousin had passed away.
he was diagnosed with some virus infection.
it was like so sudden.
i only received a call that night that he was admitted to hospital
and he passes away the very next morning.
everyone cried.
he was only 32!

have u ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? if so, then you know you can go on your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

i'm glad that my family has got such strong bonds.
and i'm even glad that i have learned one more thing: to cherish.

2007-03-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

everything was really nice.
andy stayed over at my house and we played dota the whole night.
had fun today also watching Protege and weekend was nice too. =)
I LOVE MY LIFE.
just that sometimes things just do not go my way.
sorry dad!
for giving you attitude.
but i will still hold my stand.
oh well!
thanks everyone for my nice weekend.
esp my basketball friends and my family! =D

2007-03-03T03:23:00.000+08:00

last paper over.
finally.
and i'm free! yay!

caught a midnight show today,
music and lyrics.
not a bad show,
i would say it's worth watching.
and i'll rate it 3 out of 5.

anw im entering the je and converse 3 on 3 basketball.
it's under 19.
so maybe we will have more chance of qualifying more rounds.
haha. better pray that we do. =x
more training. i nd to train myelf harder.

2007-02-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

one paper down,
two more to go!

buck up. =)

2007-02-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

my exam's tml and im here blogging.
seriously, i need to buck up.
JIA YOU!

i've signed up for another new course.
PLEASURE CRAFT DRIVING
cost me 300 bucks but its worth it. =)
im learning GOLF too. =)
and golf is not really that ex what ive thought.
i used to think that its lame too.
but im hooked to it now. haha.
im considering to sign up for SCUBA DIVING this holiday. =)
anyone interested?

i need a job.
ive got too many things that i wished to learn.
someone please introduce me one?
thanks. =D

2007-02-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
GONG XI FA CAI!!
it's new year again.
pretty boring year, partly cause i've not totally recovered yet.
got to abstain from all my fav foods. =(
my luck's lousy too!
i gamble and lost.
i think i'm probably the only one besides the banker who lost.
haha. so suay right?
received quite alot of hong baos.
i'm so glad that i've got a big big family. =)
YAY!
SHOPPING shopping SHOPPING =D

sick

2007-02-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

BOOOO.
i'm sick. real sick.
and it's chinese new year soon.
better recover soon.

i've spent my valentines day alone as usual.
actually i did bake some cookies and wanted to give it to HER.
but when i give it some serious thought,
i realise that the time is still not ripe yet.
so single shall i be.
and single is not something to be shameful of.
i do ENJOY my single life.
cheers. =)

2007-02-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

basketball 3 on 3 today.
guess who was my opponent?
TEAM AMERICA!
haha.
3 ang mos who's damn big size and tall.
i should have joined the 18 or under 20 instead of the open.
just my luck.
lost the match but it's a great exp.

went shopping with andy and his friend.
srry. i just can't recall your name.
i'm still so bad at remembering names.
i bought a cap and a watch. =)
and we had fun at toys r us and noe print shops.
so gay but it's cool.
1st exp taking neo prints with all guys.
haha.

my new watch and cap. =D

2007-02-08T11:36:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to ME.
happy birthday to ME.
happy birthday happy birthday.
happy birthday to ME.

i'm 19.
argh.
one step nearer to the 20s range!
hmm..
levi's specs or highlight hair?
which should i get for myself?
anw, my blog is finally up again.
ya, i noe.
i'm such a slacker. =x

celebrated my sister birthday and mine together. she's 21.

my nephew do knows how to pao niu.

big big family. =D

2006-01-30T16:45:00.000+08:00

i read your blog.
i think you've already given up.
hmm. so be it ba.
i'm tired. )':

2006-01-20T03:23:00.000+08:00

got your present
and i've read your notes.
i'm quite touched by it.
thanks!!
i thought we may have a chance again.
but i realise that you already have taken down the bball chain from your phone.
have you given up already?
or is it that you saw that i dint put mine.
i'm so sorry.
mine bball chain broke.
all i left is the string on my phone only.
sorry.

2006-01-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

你哭了!
小强真的想帮你搽掉眼泪,
借你他可靠的肩膀,
扛起你所有的负担,
让你只懂得快乐.

all the promises i've made,
will never fade
even till the day i'm gone.
i mean it.
i mean it.
i mean it!
know what this means? haha.

you got your own circle of friends

and i've got mine too.

when your friends need you,

just go ahead.

best friends are hard to come by.

after we went out for movie,
you stopped sms-ing me.
then i added you in msn justine_wa@hotmain.com,
and you dint accept.
yup, i know.
wrong e-mail! haha.
so i was still wondering what went wrong,
and you choose to ignore me.
i'm trying to be the normal me that day,
trying not to be nervous,
but maybe is my 表现太烂了.
and so i stopped myself from sms you also.

today was the 1st time that i managed to see your blog.

i asked you for it once,

but you refused to give it to me.

you know my e-mail add and yet you dint add me. ):

i don't wanna tell others my probs
is that i don't want your to be unhappy with me.
so i choose to keep everything with myself.
i think the same applies to you too.
maybe if i'm not wrong,
the same applies to you too.
you don't wanna tell me anything,
cause you don't wanna add on to my burden.

i thought you like someone else.
i thought you was just entertaining me.
or maybe you just treat me as a normal friend.
cause i really know not much abt you.

sometimes i'm just afraid.
i'm afraid of losing.
losing you.
i have no confident in myself.
i'm a coward.
i'm trying my best to overcome my emotional barrier.

2006-01-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

我想你,
我真的想你.
不过我却选择了退后,
现在伤痕垒垒的我,
已再经不起任何伤害了.

不知何时起,
我已练成了凡事都一幅
我不在乎,
无关紧要,
怎样都能在别人面前笑的嘴脸.
我的周围也建起了一道厚厚的墙,
一个不想让人闯进的圈圈.

2005-12-06T13:15:00.000+08:00

我讨厌你,
我更恨我自己.
我恨我自己那么的脆落,
那么的无可奈何,
那么的心软,
那么的不坚定.
我的决心已开始动摇了.

2005-12-04T01:49:00.000+08:00

the pressures are amounting.
sleepless night,
or well, i just cannot get a decent slp at home.
you said i don't tell you my problems,
i did say and did you listen?
i hate it when you always threaten me.
sometimes i just feel like i'm an orphan instead.

2005-11-30T10:33:00.000+08:00

i've many problems that i would like to share too.
but maybe i'm too used to being alone.
too used to keeping everything to myself.
so there're things that i just donno how to express.
even if i would like to.
i feel that my life was so so dramatic.

2005-11-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

you told me to try,
i wanted to and i've tried,
but what's the point?!
simply, i'm just tired.
can i be just so selfish once,
neglect everything and heck care?

2005-11-02T10:26:00.000+08:00

我最近过的太幸福了,
幸福得开始得意忘行.
我,
还是比交适合悲伤吧